no reason, no limitseat sleep rage repeat smile wave play pretend growlwhatever goals you set, take your eyes off the finish line there is no whythere is no whenthere is onlynow and again Elle Vampa Just for good measures (and because you cannot ever really be certain, can you?) I sniff my soda. A few … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Poor Mood, Poor Timing
My mum looks at me expectantly. “What did your friend say? Because your sister needs to know whether or not I can babysit.” I heave a deep sigh (which I consider my new hobby, based on the amount of sighs I heave daily) and make a gesture that is best described as an octopus trying … More Planning For Loss
rain, kept prisonerinside the darkestcloud, luring theskies into sadness bow my headdown to lifeas I surrender let the sunlightbreak me openblissfully create newways to shine Elle Vampa I don’t want to I don’t want to I don’t want to… OKAY FINE! I manage to reach this newborn point of no return after opening my inbox … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Sun Struck
the birth of my existence,amidst the dark a light, a ray,never a stranger, seldom friends,a lifetime of emotions in dismay,but in all and every wayI will be okay Elle Vampa (Okay, so, apparently I write poetry now…) I thought it felt familiar. Ha! See? I’m not stupid! Predictable? Probably. Seeing as things go exactly as … More A Loser Familiarity
The First Week I told myself this is normal. I was awaiting my friend’s reply. If I didn’t hear from her, I could not inform my deceased friend’s brother when we’d plan to visit the grave. Even without a reply, reluctance to contact, well, anyone kept growing. Because: By keeping myself engaged at all times, … More A Weeks-Long Witch’s Denial
Okay, first things first: I am grieving the loss of my friend, which is weighing heavier on me than I realised. So last week, I didn’t blog because I just didn’t feel like it. (I did feel like crying, by the way, which is what I spent last Thursday on, in case you were wondering.) … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Until April
Let me share my wisdom with you by teaching you how to grow as a Loser in two simple steps: Step 1 – Get pet degus What are degus you ask? Good question. Apart from utterly cute pets I had no idea what more I was getting myself into. I thought they were merely slightly-bigger-than-gerbils-that-live-longer-than-most-other-rodents… … More Two Simple Steps In Becoming A Better Loser
I’m not sure what it’s supposed to mean when you find yourself lying awake at night, pondering from A to Z, and the only way to fall asleep is by imagining you’re strangling your sister. (To my defence, while I was doing so, I felt guilty because I don’t actually want to harm her.) But … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Estrangled Sisters
As the end of the year is undeniably rolling in, I’ve had a few revelations before its finality becomes a reality. (Yes, I was quite proud of that sentence myself, thankyouverymuch) I’m counting down the epiphanies and goals that will, hopefully, help me close 2023 on a high note as well as ring in its … More 2024, 3, 2, 1
“Have you told her yet?” My dad looks at my mom over his dinner plate, suddenly remembering his Big Happening of the day. News he could easily tell me himself, but would rather leave up to his spouse. Curiosity takes over instantly. “We received a card from your sister today,” Mom says. I am so … More Weekly Loss | Return To Sender
Elle Vampa 