As I stare at the woman in front of me, I feel something I haven’t felt in a long time.
I feel beautiful.
Completely out of my comfort zone, yes, but beautiful.
I carefully caress the soft fabric of my gala dress and do a quarter-turn to the right while staring at myself in the mirror.
(Ironically, the last time I felt genuinely beautiful was when I was also trying on a blue dress, albeit a short, powder blue cocktail one as opposed to the long, regal dark blue gown I’m in now… Maybe I should start to wear dresses more often! Or just, you know, try them on more.)
It fits like a glove.
Even the belly I’m always worried about but know is actually not really fat, looks great!
For despite my secret knowledge, I still always feel fat by the way – thank you modern day society for continuously pushing this urge to look perfect and carry no body fat whatsoever upon all females.
This dress does not make me look or feel fat, though! If anything, it makes me look absolutely gorgeous!
I do a twirl and giggle – hey, it doesn’t matter if I’m turning 40 soon, right now I’m still not officially middle-aged. So there, giggles allowed (and aloud).
(And don’t think I’ll stop giggling after hitting the big 4-0, mind you!)
I stare at myself again, almost in disbelief. Who is that woman in the mirror? So tall, elegant, curvy-in-all-the-right-places? A tad mysterious…
Is that really me?
Unknown
“Always wear your invisible crown”
Could I actually look like this?
I take in how the dark royal blue colour makes my blonde hair pop and my eyes sparkle. How the delicate lace at the shoulders makes my arms look pretty and endless. How the very low cut out cleavage… is downright elegant instead of unclassy.
It’s funny, but I don’t want to stop staring at her, that almost-40-year-old-woman in my mirror.
Is that REALLY me?
I take a short video of me sporting my dress and send it to Jay. He’s very quick with his reply: “You look amazing! I can’t stop staring at you!”
Well, that makes two of us, I suppose.
I take in another good look (or ten or twenty) of myself and take the dress off again – with a sigh.
As I carefully offer the majestic gown inhabitation of my closet, I can’t help but smile: I’m going to turn 40 this year in style. I won’t be looking like a princess, but like a queen 👸
One last caress and I slide the closet door shut. I can’t wait to feel beautiful again! This dress is the evidence I’ve grown from a girl into a woman. A beautiful woman.
Even I can’t deny that now.
Another text from Jay: “I cannot wait for your birthday to see you in that dress!”
Land of Princess Sissi, you better get ready for Queen Elle!
Because I’m coming to visit, and I’m coming in style 👗
