rain, kept prisoner
Elle Vampa
inside the darkest
cloud, luring the
skies into sadness
bow my head
down to life
as I surrender
let the sunlight
break me open
blissfully create new
ways to shine
I don’t want to I don’t want to I don’t want to…
OKAY FINE!
I manage to reach this newborn point of no return after opening my inbox and finding not one, but two new client messages.
But it’s not that what pushes me beyond the seemingly-ever-out-of-reach-pitch-black-dark-horizon.
It’s the instant feeling of frustration. Instant. Frustration.
An emotion I do not wish to experience, especially not in relation to my coaching business, for I have no aspiration of ever growing exasperated of my trade.
Instead, I want to cherish it, shield it from harm and limitlessly love it.
Not feel Instant Frustration because people want to book an appointment!
I don’t want to I don’t want to I don’t want to…
I heave three deep sighs, type up two replies and visit my website to do one thing I’ve been pushing off: close it down.
Because I don’t want to have any more business to do with my business – not right now.
I create a “Sorry, on hiatus”-homepage and manage to get my redirecting done in under ten minutes (ha! Take that, Elementor!).
Then I sit back and wait for the inevitable feeling of failure.
But… it doesn’t come…?
Instead, I am captured by a memory of Tuesday’s Happy Moment (I keep track of them): a dark rain cloud lingering in the sky, a few persistent rays of sun breaking through it.
And it hits me: that’s my life right now.
It looks dark and gloomy. But, If I surrender, the light can reach through. Finally.
For only by letting go of the old can we receive something new, something better.
If I want to transform my business into something more than it is today, I need to let go of old habits.
This is not a Loser Moment. It is gain. This is my ray of light bursting through: done with the old, ready for the new.
Elle Vampa 