I try to swallow an upcoming coughing fit away, but my aching throat is making it all the more difficult. The last time I had a coughing fit – and I swear my throat is growing more itchy by the desperate second – was in a full college classroom. With an annoyed professor, an ocean … More Bi-Weekly Loss | A Little Underbaked
Let me share my wisdom with you by teaching you how to grow as a Loser in two simple steps: Step 1 – Get pet degus What are degus you ask? Good question. Apart from utterly cute pets I had no idea what more I was getting myself into. I thought they were merely slightly-bigger-than-gerbils-that-live-longer-than-most-other-rodents… … More Two Simple Steps In Becoming A Better Loser
I’m not sure what it’s supposed to mean when you find yourself lying awake at night, pondering from A to Z, and the only way to fall asleep is by imagining you’re strangling your sister. (To my defence, while I was doing so, I felt guilty because I don’t actually want to harm her.) But … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Estrangled Sisters
As the end of the year is undeniably rolling in, I’ve had a few revelations before its finality becomes a reality. (Yes, I was quite proud of that sentence myself, thankyouverymuch) I’m counting down the epiphanies and goals that will, hopefully, help me close 2023 on a high note as well as ring in its … More 2024, 3, 2, 1
“Have you told her yet?” My dad looks at my mom over his dinner plate, suddenly remembering his Big Happening of the day. News he could easily tell me himself, but would rather leave up to his spouse. Curiosity takes over instantly. “We received a card from your sister today,” Mom says. I am so … More Weekly Loss | Return To Sender
I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing I suspect my soul must look an awful lot like an improvised mummy, what with all the duct tape holding me together. Unfortunately, it seems the sticky sturdiness has been slacking somewhat lately; a few corners having come loose here and there, making me crack. It is early … More Crackin’ Up
When things go horrible, I imagine that’ll never end. But when things go great, I fear the inevitable decline in happiness is lurking around every corner I turn. The last few weeks have been busy, but good. Did I say good? I meant great! I started my new job and am loving every minute of … More Weekly Loss | Having A Dip
My feet are freezing, my hands are nervously clutching the steering wheel of my poor, old yet still functioning and trustworthy car, and I gaze outside. An older lady’s third attempt to exit her car finally proves successful. To my right there is a man opening up his fish wagon – everybody here loves a … More Standing Still While Going Places
With only twenty minutes to pen down my final suspicions, I have zero time to worry about my turning-more-illegible-by-the-second handwriting. They’re just going to have to figure it out, much like I had to before grabbing hold of this pen – a gift that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life, if only because … More Weekly Loss | Murderous Mind Games
Waiting. Is there any more devastatingly horrendous way to kill time? As happens so very often in my strange brain, a well-known song immediately kicks in. I’ve been watching My phone, my emails and personal texts. I’ve been checking my professional email address and my old skool regular mail. You know, the stuff that comes … More In The Shadows Of My Loser Life
