Remember this guy? Well, where we were bumping heads before, we are now bumping butts. Literally, as that’s one of the physical rapprochements he’s been executing on me lately. What happened?? One moment I jokingly-not-altogether-untruthfully mention being in a small room together with him makes me nauseous, the next he’s poking me jokingly-not-altogether-unkindly in the … More Weekly Loss | Flirtatious Failure
“Dear Universe, please give me an answer to ALL my questions! Show me how to fix everything that’s wrong in my life!!” Here’s what I got in reply, only a day later: No. Just. Say. No. Out of all the issues your favourite Loser Queen is facing, as it turns out, I am allergic to … More 50 Ways To Say NO
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m running out of time. I wonder if this is why I’m running so hard… Working 3 jobs plus taking care of my parents (when they need to, please don’t romanticize me being a full-time caregiver – I am not) is starting to take its toll on me. When I … More Running For Loser
Of all the things I’m ashamed of about myself, living with my parents scores highest on my loser-list. Especially because I strongly believe in the illusion that the second I move out (if ever that day comes) I lose my loserness. (Go read that twice, hah!) Naturally, I understand other failures will then claw their … More Living La Vida Loser
Dear Elle, We’ve had such lovely contact a while ago and you helped me out greatly with starting up my own business by answering all my questions in what you thought was an innocent interview, but what in fact was a secret sales pitch. Thank you again for your time and politeness! In return, I’d … More Weekly Loss | Sales Shift
Much like squeezing a lemon for its last drop of juice, I wrangle my brains to come up with another answer for my list of Things I Am Ashamed Of. Honestly: I thought this would be a no-brainer. An easy-to-fill-out-get-an-extra-sheet-of-paper-ready-here-comes-the-self-doubt kind of thing. The surprising truth is I barely made it to 10 items. I … More Shamelessly Surprised
Here’s a few things I am convinced of: Okay, Elle, Loser Queen Extraordinaire (when giving oneself a title, might as well go overboard), hang on! What happened? I ran into an old school mate is what happened. And I am not sure what was worse: that he recognised me immediately from a medium distance; that … More Old Loser On The Block
People in a relationship can be extremely rude. At the worst times, too. Always when you least expect it and are otherwise engaged. My chef turned out to be a pro at this. He’s in an annoyingly happy relationship with someone he wins penis plushies for at carnivals. Just painting a picture here (you’re welcome … More Loser Like Him?
Once a month I wish I were a man. I know nobody wants to read about lady issues such as *ew* hormonal imbalances and menstruation problems – double ew! But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. And it doesn’t mean they don’t make me sick on a monthly basis. Or that this has been happening … More Loser Repair Manual
Elle Vampa 