yearning for freedomsunlight never within reachuntil I let go Elle Vampa Anger It’s burning away inside, like a fiery fuel. Instead of making me feel energized, it’s leaving my soul in ashes, having to make do with running on fumes. How I get by is beyond me. I must be stronger than I give myself … More Bi-Weekly Loss | The Unholy Trinity
Out of nowhere, I flail my trustworthy sword at the unwilling, impenetrable wall and… Break it. This time I actually break it. A little out of breath, but more so surprised at my own actions and strength, I watch the dark blue bricks falter under the impact of the hit. It starts with a crack … More Flailing In Love
I’m on my way to a specialist pet store (mine are the most spoiled degus ever), and my mom is sitting next to me in my car. I’m changing lanes while trying to keep the otherwise scarce sunlight from blinding me. It’s the day before European Election Day and my mom and I are discussing … More Bi-Weekly Loss | The Voice Of Europe
tickthe pendulum swingstowardspersonal prosperityandmy heart beatsnothing butsmiles tockno time for lingeringrushingpauses are forgottenasthe swing backhits equallyharsh continuous motionnothing to graspstability just out of touch howeverI can only do so much Elle Vampa I haven’t blogged for a few weeks, which is partly due to being busy (sorry), partly due to the flu (WHY!?), and partly … More Once Upon A Loser In Sweden
I’m not allowed to discuss the exact details of my current misery, bound by contract as I am, until a certain date has passed. After which you will find my story to be a perfect re-election campaign to prolonging my title of Loser Queen Extraordinaire for another lifetime or so. Why do experiences that make … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Something Old, Something New
i used to move unnoticedlike a shadow in the darkpresent but unobservedattached yet never held struggling to make me be seenfighting myself out of hidingresurfacing before dawnnaked to the oldborn eye peculiar as I may seemstranger than my vision stillis unwanted mutenessmy voice a skill unheard Elle Vampa If you’d asked me ten years ago … More Mute Ninjas Have Something To Say
erasingfreedom of nature’s designto be part of man’s way losingfaith in what mattersto be contained in Life’s play BUT!today addingdefiant flecks of colourto the vast and stubborn grey Elle Vampa I have my own business, remember? (If not, please visit my About page and see if it’s there – it might not, to be honest, … More Bi-Weekly Loss | The Picture Of Elle Grey
8.42 amThe World is awake, street noises are travelling upwards through my half-opened window. More than ever I feel disconnected to what is happening “out there”, as my only wish is to remain asleep. Be blissfully unaware of all and everything. But the noises cease to fade (SHUT UP), and my alarm clock gives me … More Fateful Figurines & A Mother’s Job
no reason, no limitseat sleep rage repeat smile wave play pretend growlwhatever goals you set, take your eyes off the finish line there is no whythere is no whenthere is onlynow and again Elle Vampa Just for good measures (and because you cannot ever really be certain, can you?) I sniff my soda. A few … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Poor Mood, Poor Timing
My mum looks at me expectantly. “What did your friend say? Because your sister needs to know whether or not I can babysit.” I heave a deep sigh (which I consider my new hobby, based on the amount of sighs I heave daily) and make a gesture that is best described as an octopus trying … More Planning For Loss
Elle Vampa 