This week I’ve done the unimaginable. I said NO. Twice. Yesterday was The Day for No No.1 (see what I did there? I’m so clever 😉). Despite all the doom scenarios that had been brooding and multiplying in my head over the past week, the final result was completely unexpected when I told my client … More No No No.1
“Dear Universe, please give me an answer to ALL my questions! Show me how to fix everything that’s wrong in my life!!” Here’s what I got in reply, only a day later: No. Just. Say. No. Out of all the issues your favourite Loser Queen is facing, as it turns out, I am allergic to … More 50 Ways To Say NO
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m running out of time. I wonder if this is why I’m running so hard… Working 3 jobs plus taking care of my parents (when they need to, please don’t romanticize me being a full-time caregiver – I am not) is starting to take its toll on me. When I … More Running For Loser
I count my sneezes and make it to 7 – a new personal best! Right after wiping my nose I tap the glass doors of my giant-glass-cage-formerly-known-as-my-gerbils’-imperial-castle. My “very calm and gentle degu brothers”, as the breeder described them, have taken up boxing after I removed their wheel. Ash will not have Diego sit in … More Weekly Loss | Snotty Sneezer
Of all the things I’m ashamed of about myself, living with my parents scores highest on my loser-list. Especially because I strongly believe in the illusion that the second I move out (if ever that day comes) I lose my loserness. (Go read that twice, hah!) Naturally, I understand other failures will then claw their … More Living La Vida Loser
Dear Elle, We’ve had such lovely contact a while ago and you helped me out greatly with starting up my own business by answering all my questions in what you thought was an innocent interview, but what in fact was a secret sales pitch. Thank you again for your time and politeness! In return, I’d … More Weekly Loss | Sales Shift
Much like squeezing a lemon for its last drop of juice, I wrangle my brains to come up with another answer for my list of Things I Am Ashamed Of. Honestly: I thought this would be a no-brainer. An easy-to-fill-out-get-an-extra-sheet-of-paper-ready-here-comes-the-self-doubt kind of thing. The surprising truth is I barely made it to 10 items. I … More Shamelessly Surprised
Have you read any post in which I am not at least slightly panicking? I think not. Today is no different. I feel a little out of place, as I am not yet comfortable at working in a hardware store. Please remember I have zero building-stuff-knowledge. The closest thing I’ve ever come to redecorating was … More Weekly Loss | Amsterdam Vibes
Here’s a few things I am convinced of: Okay, Elle, Loser Queen Extraordinaire (when giving oneself a title, might as well go overboard), hang on! What happened? I ran into an old school mate is what happened. And I am not sure what was worse: that he recognised me immediately from a medium distance; that … More Old Loser On The Block
Once a month I wish I were a man. I know nobody wants to read about lady issues such as *ew* hormonal imbalances and menstruation problems – double ew! But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. And it doesn’t mean they don’t make me sick on a monthly basis. Or that this has been happening … More Loser Repair Manual
Elle Vampa 