Strange how two weeks can change drinking coffee from a normal everyday activity into a milestone. It’s been precisely one week since I’ve witnessed my mother in a hospital bed, chained not to a ball but to an IV drip and with a tube dangling from her nose so a bag can feed her properly. … More Personal | Paper Thin
the best days in your lifeare those that turn sleepingintoan amateur version of dreamingwhen the world around youworks hard to mould your heartintoa bursting core of gratitude after you gave grand desiresmore than few gentle pushesintorealities many dreams longed for
following the lightof my own torchto discover placesno one’s gone before few footsteps leadingdown this quiet descentfewer footsteps escortmy social delinquent please do not confuseme with being astrayas my strength is whistlingwhile going my own way
Jag ser dig I click on the correct English translation and the little green devil owl gives me an elated wink. Dingaling! At least DuoLingo appreciates me… Oh no, Elle, what happened? I feel invisible, that’s what’s happened. Despite that being far from new, it still hurts when people don’t see me. Especially when those … More Personal | Invisible Pains
grey clouds part but slightlythe sun shines on tree leaves lightlya whimsical play of light and darkintangibly leaving a golden mark the universe’s design hasgot me thinking that maybetrue happiness is kept alivein the beauty of komorebi
Dear Elle, You are so much more than “a lose chain”, someone who keeps carrying water to the sea, against better knowledge. You just don’t see it yet. Even on your worst days, you are beautiful. On those days, it’s just excruciatingly difficult to hear anything else than the demons in your head, spewing their … More Personal | Dear Elle Vampa
If you’d ask my younger self what she’d turn out to be at nearly 40 (I need to stop calling myself that; I have more than a year to go before that first digit takes another move upwards), she would never be able to guess reality correctly. My 8-year-old-self (or something close to it) was … More Personal | Childhood Dreams
it’s not that i can’t do it alonebut I feel so lost without youthe sun does not rise the samemy nighttime does not turn to daycolours remain bleak and grey it’s not that i am ready for youstill i wish you’d come and find meto proudly hold my hand in yoursand finally break this witches’ … More Poem | number one
There, I’ve said it. Out loud. To a stranger: I wish I had a boyfriend. Okay, so 1) technically, my psychologist is not a stranger, but she’s also not a close friend (or any friend for that matter), and 2) I’m not desperate for a boyfriend, I’m just… Lonely. As I have been. For a … More Personal | Unravelling Confessions
If my brains were a SATNAV I’d be lost. Destination unknown – that’s how my electronic voice would startle you: Unclear signs ahead, please hold as I stall. Only then to make you wait in an agonizingly frustrating (and thankfully imaginary) traffic jam; no clue as to why you’re stuck, or how to escape. Or … More Personal | Boxed Love
Elle Vampa 