Dear Elle, You are so much more than “a lose chain”, someone who keeps carrying water to the sea, against better knowledge. You just don’t see it yet. Even on your worst days, you are beautiful. On those days, it’s just excruciatingly difficult to hear anything else than the demons in your head, spewing their … More Personal | Dear Elle Vampa
If you’d ask my younger self what she’d turn out to be at nearly 40 (I need to stop calling myself that; I have more than a year to go before that first digit takes another move upwards), she would never be able to guess reality correctly. My 8-year-old-self (or something close to it) was … More Personal | Childhood Dreams
it’s not that i can’t do it alonebut I feel so lost without youthe sun does not rise the samemy nighttime does not turn to daycolours remain bleak and grey it’s not that i am ready for youstill i wish you’d come and find meto proudly hold my hand in yoursand finally break this witches’ … More Poem | number one
There, I’ve said it. Out loud. To a stranger: I wish I had a boyfriend. Okay, so 1) technically, my psychologist is not a stranger, but she’s also not a close friend (or any friend for that matter), and 2) I’m not desperate for a boyfriend, I’m just… Lonely. As I have been. For a … More Personal | Unravelling Confessions
inner calmthe promisedsecret keyto happiness tranquil placewithin ourselvesthat wecall home raging stormsfailing ruinover everlastingsunny meadows
If my brains were a SATNAV I’d be lost. Destination unknown – that’s how my electronic voice would startle you: Unclear signs ahead, please hold as I stall. Only then to make you wait in an agonizingly frustrating (and thankfully imaginary) traffic jam; no clue as to why you’re stuck, or how to escape. Or … More Personal | Boxed Love
i want to wake up, get up, be activemove before the dawn is donespread my wings and fly awaybutno ma’amnot today i want to celebrate, party, be merrydance until the day is donethrow my hands up, sing and swaybutno sirnot today i want to hold you, keep you, be yourslove until my life is donelaugh … More Poem & Personal | not today
I’d bite my nails, but they’re fragile already. I’d check the clock again, but that feels impolite. I’d wish the elderly woman would fall asleep so I could send some texts but that desire makes me feel shallow. I wish I knew what was happening! It’s Friday evening and although I’m seemingly all-self-composedly draped on … More Personal | Dear Envy
Alice Cooper comes to mind as my Doctor Of Neuropathic Medicine (aka my “Nature Doctor”) explains why my vegan cheese is “about the worst thing to eat”. I wanna love you, but I better not touch NO MORE VEGAN CHEESE!? Oh come on! What’s next? Eat broccoli?? EW! It’s a watery Monday at a crowded-in-a-cozy-way … More Personal | No Sugar No Cry
Page 132 That what came first, must be honoured by what came after I prod my maternal grandmother’s photograph up against a pillow on my bed (she was so pretty!), and kneel before it. The idea is to bow before her, to honour her, to acknowledge her and her role in my life and my … More Personal | Growing Little
Elle Vampa 