afraid of the lightsgoing outeverything growingsilent in peacewhile I lay imprisonedtied down by my personal phantomsalone in a world thatdoesn’t feel mine Elle Vampa – Afraid of the Lights Considering how I am an unfortunate acquaintance of insomnia, it must not be hard for you to imagine the stress and anxiety feeding into my fears … More Bi-Weekly Loss | Sleepless In Loserville
hope is for the weakthe ones who should know betterthan to await change in desperationif life can’t get worse, hope it will get better hope is for the lazythe ones who should stop prayingto instead get up and fix their brokenif life can’t be friendly, hope it will get nicer hope is for the wickedthe … More ‘Tis The Season To Be Loser
changeis comingwill pass byand not look twicebefore you retrace your stepsit strikes anew forit is comingaround againchange Elle Vampa Change. It’s making me exhausted. Here’s a list of recent rapid changes: Reading this list back brings back the exhaustion. I’ve got so many plans, emotions and worries, it’s a miracle I’m still standing. But I … More At A Loss For Change
The first time I saw my father cry was when I was eleven years old. We were at the wake of my grandmother – his mother – and he cried. Naturally, of course. But I vividly remember realising that up until that moment, in that room, in that situation, I’d never seen him cry. Not … More Daddy’s Little Loser
Ideas? Check. Plans? Check. Execution? Pleaso do! Ugh. I’m over this. What is WRONG with me? Is it the hormones again? Ugh. It’s probably the hormones again. I bet the world will stop spinning if that B6 supplement actually works… Ugh. Why can’t I stop saying “ugh”? Ugh. It’s Monday evening and I’ve just royally … More Old Tricks In A New Week
10 Things I Don’t Dare To Tell My Parents 1. I am planning to leave youI am sure it’s a silent given in my family: me never leaving home. But… I’ve started looking at places to rent. I know you won’t want me to move (please also see #6).Will not mention until I’ve actually found … More 10 Things I Don’t Dare To Tell My Parents
Ingredients: Recipe For Instant Failure: Congratulations! You, too, have failed this recipe ❤
8.42 amThe World is awake, street noises are travelling upwards through my half-opened window. More than ever I feel disconnected to what is happening “out there”, as my only wish is to remain asleep. Be blissfully unaware of all and everything. But the noises cease to fade (SHUT UP), and my alarm clock gives me … More Fateful Figurines & A Mother’s Job
My mum looks at me expectantly. “What did your friend say? Because your sister needs to know whether or not I can babysit.” I heave a deep sigh (which I consider my new hobby, based on the amount of sighs I heave daily) and make a gesture that is best described as an octopus trying … More Planning For Loss
I try to swallow an upcoming coughing fit away, but my aching throat is making it all the more difficult. The last time I had a coughing fit – and I swear my throat is growing more itchy by the desperate second – was in a full college classroom. With an annoyed professor, an ocean … More Bi-Weekly Loss | A Little Underbaked
Elle Vampa 