Waiting. Is there any more devastatingly horrendous way to kill time? As happens so very often in my strange brain, a well-known song immediately kicks in. I’ve been watching My phone, my emails and personal texts. I’ve been checking my professional email address and my old skool regular mail. You know, the stuff that comes … More In The Shadows Of My Loser Life
Today cannot end soon enough. That’s the main thought occupying my mind at the moment. At work, I think I’ve dropped everything there was to drop, from (thank goodness no fragile) parcels, to scissors, scanners, money, receipts and keys. It’s a miracle I didn’t break anything – that includes my own neck, considering I also … More Weekly Loss | Blue Friday
I heave a massive sigh and reach for another tissue. Only two this time, not too bad, I catch myself thinking. Despite my tears, I feel the beginnings of a smile reach the outskirts of my lips. Humour. My magic weapon. If I can laugh, I know I’ll be alright. I blow my nose loudly … More Weekly Loss | Holiday Outings
This week I’ve done the unimaginable. I said NO. Twice. Yesterday was The Day for No No.1 (see what I did there? I’m so clever 😉). Despite all the doom scenarios that had been brooding and multiplying in my head over the past week, the final result was completely unexpected when I told my client … More No No No.1
Remember this guy? Well, where we were bumping heads before, we are now bumping butts. Literally, as that’s one of the physical rapprochements he’s been executing on me lately. What happened?? One moment I jokingly-not-altogether-untruthfully mention being in a small room together with him makes me nauseous, the next he’s poking me jokingly-not-altogether-unkindly in the … More Weekly Loss | Flirtatious Failure
“Dear Universe, please give me an answer to ALL my questions! Show me how to fix everything that’s wrong in my life!!” Here’s what I got in reply, only a day later: No. Just. Say. No. Out of all the issues your favourite Loser Queen is facing, as it turns out, I am allergic to … More 50 Ways To Say NO
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m running out of time. I wonder if this is why I’m running so hard… Working 3 jobs plus taking care of my parents (when they need to, please don’t romanticize me being a full-time caregiver – I am not) is starting to take its toll on me. When I … More Running For Loser
I count my sneezes and make it to 7 – a new personal best! Right after wiping my nose I tap the glass doors of my giant-glass-cage-formerly-known-as-my-gerbils’-imperial-castle. My “very calm and gentle degu brothers”, as the breeder described them, have taken up boxing after I removed their wheel. Ash will not have Diego sit in … More Weekly Loss | Snotty Sneezer
Of all the things I’m ashamed of about myself, living with my parents scores highest on my loser-list. Especially because I strongly believe in the illusion that the second I move out (if ever that day comes) I lose my loserness. (Go read that twice, hah!) Naturally, I understand other failures will then claw their … More Living La Vida Loser
Dear Elle, We’ve had such lovely contact a while ago and you helped me out greatly with starting up my own business by answering all my questions in what you thought was an innocent interview, but what in fact was a secret sales pitch. Thank you again for your time and politeness! In return, I’d … More Weekly Loss | Sales Shift
Elle Vampa 