Elle Vampa

It’s the first time in months that I’ve done a full workout and something snappy is wreaking havoc in my lower back.

I especially feel it in the shower, when reaching down to those lower body parts (my toes, you pervert!) turns into a challenge larger than the actual workout.

I don’t understand what Jay sees in me.

A familiar echo stalks through my mind and I flinch again as I inadvertently snap back into Set Position (for those of you missing the joke, go do a BodyPump Workout and you’ll get the pun).

I look at my misty reflection in the glass shower door and right there and then, I decide I Have Been Stupid.

For nearly 38 years I’ve been single (there were those six weeks in elementary school and another six at high school, plus the few weeks with Jay before I turned 39).

For nearly 38 years I’ve told myself every crappy reason you can think of why I was single. To explain to myself in that harshest of ways only inner critics adopt, why it was My Own Fault I was lonely:

• Too fat
• Too ugly
• Too dumb
• Too inexperienced
• Too old
• Too much of a loser to be loved

And yet, for some mystical reason, I met someone who loves me not despite all that, but because all of that.

For nearly 38 years, I’ve lived a lie!

So here’s to you, if you’re lonely like I was, coming from a First Class Experiencee:

You are PERFECT the way you are! ❤️ You can and will be loved ❤️ There is no reason why you should be lonely, nor is it your fault!

There is NOTHING wrong with you!

Except for believing the lies your inner voices feed you.

Please value yourself. You are so so SO worth it!