There, I’ve said it. Out loud. To a stranger:
I wish I had a boyfriend.
Okay, so 1) technically, my psychologist is not a stranger, but she’s also not a close friend (or any friend for that matter), and 2) I’m not desperate for a boyfriend, I’m just…
Lonely.
As I have been. For a lifetime.
I could joke about Disney ruining my perception of love, Prince Charming not riding a white horse but a (very lazy) turtle, him “still being in the making”, or talk about being fine on my own.
But I’d be lying.
(Except for Disney, they’ve totally ruined my view on romance!)
For almost 4 decades I have seen people fall in and out of love, patiently awaiting my turn on the sidelines, wondering if perhaps the Universe did forget about me…
Atticus
“Never go in search of love, go in search of life, and life will find you the love you seek”
My parents are getting older and I don’t want to have to deal with the grief in store for me on my own.
And no, friends, even the really good ones, are not the same as having someone holding your hand and going through all the shit with you. Side by side.
I’m tired of being the only lonely one on family outings. My family is tired (thankfully) of interrogating me about bringing home a man.
I don’t know how people do it 🤷♀️
Find love, I mean.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I didn’t have to find it? If someone would find me instead? I mean, I’m right here! On the sidelines. No-longer-very-patiently awaiting your arrival.
I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen…
But what I do know is that I’ve said it. Out loud.
And with that, I’ve confessed and unravelled a bit more of my personal truth. Not only to a-not-entirely-entire stranger, but also to myself.
That’s worth something – right?
Elle Vampa 
I remember those days. Even after “finding love,” I still ended up alone. For a little while, I ended up raising two kids on my own. Then they went to live with their mom. No worries. They turned out great. However, I ended up alone. Now in my 60s, I’ve pretty much given up on love. It’s sad. I’m not attracted to women my own age. And I’m not attractive enough in my 60s to attract women I am attracted to. So there’s that.
I don’t know what to say to you. Hang in there?
I do hope you find love. Everyone should at least once in life. I don’t really know you, but you seem like a great catch. I can’t imagine you’re not turning heads when you’re out and about.
Anywho, I hope for you what you hope for yourself.😊
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Thank you, Tony. I hope all odds are secretly with us and we’ll both find someone after all. Or maybe they’ll find us! That would be nice 😊
And I am many things, but I’m afraid a head-turner isn’t one of them 😅
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