Elle Vampa

ExCUSE me!?

I stare at the phone in my hand, in utter shock, and my inner Keke Palmer gives out a mental: ohnoshedidn’t!

But she did.

The annoying manager of one of our stores called with a question I can’t answer.

And the people who can have literally just stepped outside to get some fresh air. So, I’ve explained I cannot help her with her query and will get someone to call her back ASAP.

Next thing I know, she puts on a sweet voice and lisps into my ear: “Well, on a completely different note, how are you enjoying your new position? I mean, I’m merely curious why, after being trained, you’re not even able able to answer this simple question*, and well, I just can’t help but wonder if you fit in.”

Ready to take over from Keke, my inner Sophie Ellis Bextor is standby to pull this woman b*tch through the phone and turn this into a Murder On The Work Floor.

I could have said so much! Like: “I’m sorry, but who’s getting a visit from their boss and HR tomorrow to have a little chat about not functioning well? Hmm?”

Or (my personal favourite – I saved this for potential similar later events): “Oh gosh, thank you for noticing! I would be done with my training already, if not for having to spend so much time running after managers who can’t get their work done properly.”

But no. I faltered and fell straight into my old behaviour of laughing it off.

Ugh.

What made matters worse is she called back hours later with another question about a contract (one she was overdue with and I’ve been harassing her over for weeks).

She claimed she’d sent it, I claimed she didn’t.

Turned out she was right – my coworker had picked it up on a day I wasn’t in and fixed it for her. Whoops!

That’s what you get for working parttime and trying your hardest, I suppose: poor training and poor respect.

I know a loser when I see one. I mean, I am the Loser Queen Extraordinaire after all.

But honestly… I’d rather be a loser queen and own up to that, than try to make others feel smaller than me, only so I can feel bigger.

And that is her loss.

*Her “simple question” turned out to be something so specific, my well-trained-knows-everything-about-everything-in-the-office coworker needed to dig into it further before she could fix the issue. Now tell me again it’s my lack of skills that was the issue…