Elle Vampa

Remember this guy?

Well, where we were bumping heads before, we are now bumping butts. Literally, as that’s one of the physical rapprochements he’s been executing on me lately.

What happened??

One moment I jokingly-not-altogether-untruthfully mention being in a small room together with him makes me nauseous, the next he’s poking me jokingly-not-altogether-unkindly in the ribs.

Then there’s me catching myself flipping him off in his face the one day, and him softly and facetiously kicking my bottom the next.

And for those interested in the bumping butts: he *booped* my behind with his as I tried to get past him through a narrow corridor.

My confusion expands with every boop, kick, prod or – EW – more personal question that’s fired my way.

Because a) I thought dislike was mutual?, and b) WHAT is his deal?

If he’s into me, it’s just plain weird. Not only are those feelings most definitely not reciprocated, the man is also my supervisor and lives together with his long-term girlfriend (the one with the penis plushies).

If he doesn’t like me… then wtf??

I blame my parents, really. They have raised me too well, for I am too polite (despite the flipping off) to tell anyone about my uneasiness around him, nor do I dare ask him to not cycle home together any more (he lives a few streets away from mine).

What’s worse is that I don’t know exactly why he’s acting like this.

I can’t imagine him fancying me. I can’t imagine anyone fancying me…

At the same time, he’s been overly kind and helpful suddenly.

Any guys out there with manly insights? Or just anyone with decent advice?

My mind is unready to deal with this sh*t.

I just want to go back to hating each other… It was so much easier!