Elle Vampa

Much like squeezing a lemon for its last drop of juice, I wrangle my brains to come up with another answer for my list of Things I Am Ashamed Of.

Honestly: I thought this would be a no-brainer. An easy-to-fill-out-get-an-extra-sheet-of-paper-ready-here-comes-the-self-doubt kind of thing.

The surprising truth is I barely made it to 10 items.

I know! I am beyond baffled myself!

What the BLEEP is happening here?? Aren’t I supposed to be the Loser Queen and all?

Most of the items on the list are easy fixes, too:

Things I Am Ashamed Of:

1. My face / looks (with a special mention of my ever-splitting nails and my skewed nose – it’s a complex story, pun intended)
2. My handwriting
3. Being single
4. Living with my parents
5. Not having accomplished anything substantial in my life thus far
6. Having wasted a lot of time surviving instead of living
7. Fighting my own body (still)
8. My old T-shirts and well… clothing in general I suppose (I could do with some new stuff)
9. My make-up / eyebrows (or lack thereof)
10. That the opinion of others about me still bothers me more than I want to

Okay, calm down. Why am I writing a list like this in the first place, you ask?

Because in working on yourself, aka beating your own insecurities, I thought it was best to see what I was up against.

(I might have been reading The Art Of War – Know Thy Enemy and all.)

But after hardly making it to 10 shame-items (which was quite the surprise, mind you), something even weirder happened!

Something that actually did turn into an easy-to-fill-out-get-an-extra-sheet-of-paper-ready-wait-you-thought-you-were-done-already-haha-fool-here’s-a-few-more-items kind of thing.

I started writing down all the things I am proud of!

WHAT THE BLEEP HAS HAPPENED??

I thought I was ashamed of being a virgin, but nooo, actually I’m proud I have high standards!

And what about my ewwiness regarding romantic physical contact in general? Like kissing and such?

Forget that, I am proud it is an issue for me, for it means it’s important enough for me to not just go around and smooch everyone.

I have standards! Who’d have thought?

A Selection Of The Innumerable Things I Am Apparently Very Proud Of:

• My brains
• My intuition
• My personality
• My hair
• My eyes!
• My willpower
• My sense of humour
• My (inner) strength
• My smile
• That I don’t run away from my responsibilities
• That I’m not easy
• That I’m a woman
• That I allow myself to grow
• That I do everything MY way
• That I don’t judge
• That I care about myself
• That I never forget/exclude anyone
• That I love animals (and they love me)
• That I’m unbribable
• That I’m a one in a million kind of person
• That I’m amazing!
• My ideas
• My freakishly small feet
• That I leave myself something to work on ;)