Elle Vampa

Have you read any post in which I am not at least slightly panicking? I think not.

Today is no different. I feel a little out of place, as I am not yet comfortable at working in a hardware store.

Please remember I have zero building-stuff-knowledge. The closest thing I’ve ever come to redecorating was when I helped to wallpaper my sister’s bedrooms at least 15 years ago. And I only succeeded because I did that with my mother, who rocks at gluing paper to walls.

OH NO a customer is heading towards me! An inquisitive look on her heavily made up face included.

“Excuse me, perhaps you can help me? I am looking for a specific brand of lights. I saw them online and I wondered if you had them here.”

Phew! Crisis averted. I mean, I may not be able to drill holes in walls and what not, my Google skills are beyond fine, thankyouplease.

“Sure! What is the name of the brand?”

“Well, it’s called Passions. And they’re from Amsterdam.”

And so I do the unthinkable.

I type in: passions amsterdam and hit enter.

I stare at my screen. My screen stares back. My hint of panic makes way for an overdose of the giggles.

Somehow I manage to suppress the urge to ask my customer if she, perhaps, wanted red lights. Instead, I explain I think it’s best to add “lamps” to the query. She looks at me dumfounded for a second, then the penny drops and we both giggle our way through our encounter.

My supervisor shows up and looks at us curiously. It’s only then I remember him telling me our bosses keep track of what we enter in Google to make sure we don’t abuse the online search engine for personal use.

Whoops.

I can only hope they’ll laugh at this as hard as I do.